In my recent teaching work in different capacities, ive really seen a wide variety of lunch hours… today’s was one hour, felt luxurious to be able to wander around the town centre and browse… and eat of course!
I always thought the phrase “come to terms with” was an irritating cliché, a platitude they would always use on the news if a serious event had happened in a village or somewhere. “The village is coming to terms with the terrible thing that’s happened.” But now that someone very close to me has just died, the meaning of this phrase is more apparent- I see the use for it!
Example 1: his experiences. He loves curry (need to adjust now and say loved) and of course i expexted to enjoy dozens of future curries with him. But no, its been cut off. I ask myself, where does that enjoyment he had suddenly go? Where does that passion and excitement he had for these flavours in his mouth suddenly go, just because his heart stopped working?
Example 2: things take on a new significance. Very casual comments and everyday situations not long before the death now seem so much more significant.
Thought 3: Journey to where? Life’s journeys, the fruit and product of your achievements, are suddenly cut short when you die.
Thought 4: All of the above lead you to wonder what us this feeling of being alive, these emotions and sensations we have. How lucky to have them when we know the tap can just be finally turned off at any time.
Thought 5: more helpless than a baby. Life’s irony is that if one major organ fails in the body, that very strong person is now more helpless than a baby. I see my toddler learning the concept of dignity, embarrassment. He understands that you now at a certain age don’t want to be seen as not being able to do things for yourself. All of your life then through adulthood you keep that dignity, and all of a sudden you lose it, the importance of mere survival supercedes it.
Thought 6: Data unretreavable. Of course its a cold and detached thought to think of a human being as a computer, but in our current society full of quick memory storage and transmission of data, it also seems ironuc that with all this information at our fingertips, the ultimate treasure trove of stories, feelings and experience is lost when a person dies.
Thought 6: Emotions (again): The joy of life, wanting to try something new, just walking into a bakery and buying a fresh loaf.
Accumulated feelings… the anger, resentment, bitterness about something or someone, where does that go? The intense feelings of sexuality and passion?
All of the above make me wonder, what are we living?
We’re all a lot more complex and capable than the nay-sayers say we are. Don’t fall for the mentality “they’re all stupid” wherever they’re from. For example, just because they live in a western country, don’t expect people to have views more “of a ‘higher purpose” than anywhere else. The act of pigeon-holing a group of people from anywhere is an act of prejudice.
Picking someone up from a Vueling flight at Gatwick. Ticket says Gatwick TS. It’s not immediately apparent what that means when I Google it, but then I learn it means Terminal South. Not sure why adjective is after noun here, maybe because from Paris so Terminal Sud. Anyway maybe this’ll pick up on a search engine. God now I’ve really learnt to start writing vapid blog entries!
I wonder how much energy consumption went up that day?
Soundtrack of my day/ life… as if our lives are a film!
A YouTube video with millions of views can be mislabelled, it really doesn’t matter! There’s a video with 1.8 million views (July 2018) sure to keep rising to several million, of the UB40 song (originally Neil Diamond) Red Red Wine. The title is Bob Marley – Red Red Wine.
So I guess the process for the average user is – well I like reggae, I like that song… I don’t think Bob Marley sang it but anyway, let’s click and see! And then pretty much everyone comments, “It’s not Bob Marley, it’s UB40″. But ultimately it doesn’t matter because people like listening to the song. Funny old cyberworld!